The Ultimate Tech Career Fast Track

The secret sauce to tech wealth finally revealed! Following the standard progression of salary increases through job hopping and raises for years 1-3, but then—PLOT TWIST—getting absolutely demolished by a Google commuter bus in year 4 for that sweet $35.67M lawsuit payout. Forget grinding leetcode or building side projects... just position yourself strategically near Google's transportation routes and practice your "ouch" face. Silicon Valley career acceleration hack they don't teach you in bootcamp!