The Procrastination Detection Dog

Content include stdio.h define BEGIN define END define IF if define THen )( define PRINT (...) fprintf (stdout, VAARGS. define MAIN int main (int arg, char argv) define ELSE Jelsel define ELSEIF Jelse if ( define IS define or I define AND define NOT! define VOID void define CHAR char define int int define FLOAT double define FOR for ( define Do ( define As define RANGE (x) int 1 0;1 Xi1 define RET return define INCREMENT (x) x define DECREMENT (x) X- MAIN BEGIN INT a AS 3; INT b AS 10; IF a IS 2 OR b IS 10 THEN prInT ("a is 2 or b is 10n"); ELSEIF A IS 4 AND b IS 2 THEN PRINT ("a is 4 and b is 2n"); ELSE PRINT ("none if the conditions are truen") END FOR RANGE (50) DO INT C AS 0; INCREMENT (c) ; END RET 0; END

That moment when you finally ship the big release and immediately become prisoner to your own code. Your phone won't stop buzzing with production alerts while users discover all the edge cases your tests somehow missed. The team's in chaos, management wants updates, and there you are—staring at your creation with the hollow realization that success and suffering are the same thing in software development.

Content Someone actually using it for some reason and start asking for documentation and examples Me writing open source proiects for fun

C++ developers get crushed under a stack of errors all at once, while JavaScript developers get to enjoy a leisurely stroll up a staircase of errors, discovering each new problem one at a time. Nothing says "I love my job" like JavaScript's considerate approach to crushing your soul incrementally instead of all at once.

Content I HATE CODING I HATE CODING I HATE CODING IT WORKS!! I LOVE CODING I LOVE CODING I LOVE CODING

The peak of developer pettiness has been achieved! Someone registered guthib.com just to tell people they misspelled GitHub. It's basically the digital equivalent of buying a billboard outside your ex's house that says "YOU'RE WRONG." The commitment to correct other people's typos has reached enterprise-level funding. Imagine the satisfaction of checking your server logs and seeing thousands of confused developers who fat-fingered their way to your passive-aggressive domain. The ultimate "well, actually" move that cost $12/year plus hosting. Worth. Every. Penny.