The Procrastination Detection Dog

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The special kind of shame that comes from encountering your own "hilarious" code comments years later. That moment when past-you thought "// This function is held together by duct tape and prayers" was comedy gold, but present-you just stares in silent judgment wondering what kind of sleep-deprived monster wrote that. The code probably still works though, so... mission accomplished?

The secret ingredient to landing that high-paying dev job? A clean shower. Not clean code, not a fancy portfolio, just pristine bathroom tiles. Tech recruiters aren't looking for your GitHub contributions—they're desperate for engineers who understand the concept of personal hygiene. In an industry where "works from home" often means "hasn't seen sunlight in 72 hours," a shower photo is basically a competitive advantage. The bar is literally on the floor... or in this case, the drain.

THE SHEER ECSTASY of seeing a brand new error message after staring at the same one for three hours straight! It's like finding water in a debugging desert! You're not even mad anymore - you're just THRILLED that your code has found a creative new way to tell you you're incompetent! Progress isn't fixing errors, darling - it's collecting the ENTIRE SET of possible ways your code can spectacularly fail! 💅

The ultimate functional programming dad joke has arrived! In OOP, we obsess over objects, but functional programmers just smugly call them "side effects" and try to avoid them like that one relative at Thanksgiving dinner. The punchline works on multiple levels because side effects in functional programming are operations that modify state outside their scope—exactly what pure functional programming tries to eliminate. It's like watching someone build an elaborate sandcastle while promising not to touch the sand. Whoever made this meme definitely mutated some global variables in their day.

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