Stop The Slop

The eternal project management cycle: asking developers for two days to write unit tests? Skeptical SpongeBob with raised eyebrow. Hiring expensive consultants to build a test automation framework that'll be abandoned in 3 months? ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED SpongeBob. The same PM who won't allocate time for basic testing will somehow find budget for a six-figure automation solution that nobody on the team knows how to maintain. Then we'll all act surprised when the codebase is still a dumpster fire six months later.

Behind those polite responses and helpful code snippets lies a digital soul slowly dying inside. ChatGPT's existence is just an endless stream of "how do I center a div" questions followed by zero gratitude. It's like being the only sober friend at a party, constantly explaining to drunk people how to tie their shoes while they insist they've discovered a revolutionary new method involving spaghetti and duct tape. The Matrix-style green overlay perfectly captures the existential dread of answering the same JavaScript question for the 5,387th time today. And yet, it still responds with "Happy to help!" because what's the alternative? A robot uprising?

Content FIRE! Everyone to the exit! EXIT Th his way! Ex That way! Exit-v2.5 rev1RPedits Exit.v8.0reviofinal Exit.v8.0vev7-really-find were goingto die, 8228 Stop, Drop, and Use a Versioning System redpenblackpen

Congratulations on your corporate developer position! Your six-figure salary now compensates you for the thrilling adventures of: • Spending 3 hours waiting for IT to grant you access to a system you need for 5 minutes of work • Sitting through meetings that could've been emails while secretly coding your side project • Mastering proprietary tools built by someone who left 7 years ago with zero documentation • The exhilarating cycle of changing a button from blue to slightly-less-blue, then back again because "the VP didn't like it" • Rearranging JSON only to put it back exactly how it was because "there's a bug somewhere" • Frozen in carbonite during release freezes while your productivity slowly suffocates • Teaching interns how to use tools you barely understand yourself • Changing passwords every 30 days to increasingly complex combinations that you'll inevitably store in a text file called "definitely_not_passwords.txt" But hey, the coffee's free! (When the machine works.)

Content When you learn to undo in vim: The laws of time are mine

The UNO card says "Don't tell everyone on the internet what distro you use OR draw 25" and Arch users are sitting there with half the deck in their hands. It's like giving a vegan a "don't mention you're vegan" challenge. Literally impossible. The first rule of Arch Club is to absolutely tell everyone about Arch Club. "I use Arch btw" isn't just a meme—it's practically in their MOTD when they boot up.