Pair Programming Chair

When the product manager proudly announces support for 86-inch displays while the frontend devs are sweating bullets trying to figure out how to make that responsive layout not explode. Nothing quite captures the silent horror of realizing your carefully crafted CSS is about to be stretched across a display the size of a small country. The PM's excitement is directly proportional to the developer's existential dread. Meanwhile, somewhere in the codebase: max-width: 1200px; /* nobody will ever need more than this */

Content Programmer lhave an idea for an app Fk

Content Writing code for the first time Revisiting the same code after a few months

Ah, the modern programmer's greatest alibi. "My model's thinking" has replaced "code's compiling" as the perfect excuse to stare blankly at nothing while your manager hovers nearby. The beauty is in the plausible deniability. Your LLM could be solving world hunger or generating cat pictures—nobody knows! And that 20-minute "thinking" phase? Could be processing terabytes of data or just stuck in an infinite loop. Either way, you're off the hook. Ten years in the industry and I've seen the excuses evolve from "the build's running" to "Docker's updating" to this masterpiece. Progress!

Content 03 Dec 20 Looking at some old code and was initially puzzled by a variable named 'feet' I have now worked out that this was at one point called 'legend handles', which then became 'leghands', which then became 'feet' sometimes I truly hate my past self 73 17 1,319 9.007

Left: disheveled cat looking like it just crawled out of a dumpster fire. Right: same cat in a tuxedo, ready for a black-tie gala. The transformation perfectly captures that moment when your code is an absolute disaster locally—held together with duct tape, print statements, and questionable variable names—but suddenly becomes a pristine, professional masterpiece the second you're ready to commit. Nothing says "I'm a professional developer" like frantically removing all instances of variable_name_wtf right before pushing.