I Repeat Do Not Touch Anything

Content Thomas "Kick Nazis out, jack" Fu... thomastuchs Follow Here we see a react engineer deploying a contact form BAUMANN 6:14 PM - 9 Nov 2017 1,991 Retweets 4,659 Likes 51 17 2.0K 4.7K

Content Finclude stdio.h int main() printf("Hello World!n"); include stdio. h include math. h const double coeffs 72, -5601.524004527918, 15839.254381218243, -17990.084825043516, 11078.251262340189, -4157.194592942288, 1004.360782045639, -159.60952959110847, 16.59282398377248, -1.0862681816910813, 0.0406327158120081, -0.0006620771164300821, ; int main ) for (int x 0; X 12; X) double y 0; double t 1; for(int i 0; i 12; i) y coeffsit; t X; printf ("c", (char )round(y)) ; printf("n"); ProgrammerHumor.

The corporate-to-English dictionary nobody asked for but everyone needs. After 15 years in this industry, I've developed a finely-tuned BS detector for job listings. "Cutting edge technology" just means you'll be using React like literally everyone else. And that "fast-paced environment"? Translation: your hair will be on fire while management keeps asking why you're not coding faster. My personal favorite is "urgent need" – code for "our last developer rage-quit and left zero documentation." The whole "rockstar developer" thing is particularly rich... sure, I'd love to work 80-hour weeks for the same pay as 40! And don't get me started on "self-starter" which really means "we have absolutely no idea what we're doing, but we'll blame you when it fails." Print this out and keep it next to your desk for the next time you're job hunting. You'll need it to decode what you're actually signing up for.

When someone asks "How's your day going?" and you're a developer working with Microsoft products. The absolute pinnacle of social interaction for tech workers - skipping weather chat and diving straight into a 45-minute rant about how Edge keeps reinstalling itself after updates, Teams is eating your RAM for breakfast, and Windows Update decided 3PM on a Thursday was the PERFECT time to restart your machine mid-deployment. Small talk? Nah, let me tell you about my toxic relationship with Microsoft instead.

Content Who are we? What do we want? When do we want it? Clients! We don't know! NOW!

Content Taking a CS major Taking a CS minor Going to a bootcamp Takinga Hindi major to understand the indian guy on Youtube and unlock infinite knowledge