I think I went wrong somewhere, please send help

Content Subject Out of the office 731 - 87 Re: Urgent Changes 2:35 AM I am out of the office because I've met all of my deadlines after 3 weeks of no sleep because everyone else was late. If this is an urgent matter, please kindly fuck off and plan ahead next time. Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my end. I'll be in touch as soon as I listen to all of your voicemails where you read through all of the emails that I haven't responded to yet. Thanks!

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Content IT Team before going on Holiday

The eternal lie we tell ourselves: "It works on my machine!" Left side: Your code running on localhost - a magnificent beast with muscles that could bench press a server rack. Status 200, everything's perfect, and you're basically a coding god. Right side: The same exact code after deployment - a pathetic, malnourished doggo surrounded by CORS errors, cookie sharing issues, and bad requests. Suddenly your beautiful creation is about as functional as a chocolate teapot. The production environment: where developer confidence goes to die and debugging nightmares begin. But hey, at least it worked in development!