I Got Goosebumps Myself

Content PSYCHOPATHS SERIAL KILLERS PEOPLE WHO CODE IN NOTEPAD

Ah yes, the eternal battle between organization and reality. We all start with noble intentions—a pristine Documents folder where everything is properly named and categorized. "This is brilliant," we tell ourselves. But then there's the Downloads folder—that digital junk drawer where files go to either die or multiply. Random JARs, half-downloaded PDFs, and 17 copies of the same config file with increasingly desperate naming conventions. Yet somehow, we always know exactly where to find that one crucial script in that chaotic hellscape. Six years as a senior dev and I still haven't emptied mine since 2018. Why organize when you can just Ctrl+F your way through life?

Content Girlfriend: Is mad at me for ignoring her IDE Warnings: First time? ProgrammerHumor.

Content Programmers when they hear Thursday, July 29th, 2020' instead of 1596110400 seconds since January 1st, 1970' what the cinnamon toast fuck is this

Nothing says "trust our technology" like NVIDIA's CEO casually pondering our AI-driven extinction while selling the very hardware that'll power it. "Hey, we might all die horribly, but at least we'll die on cutting-edge NVIDIA architecture!" Talk about the ultimate sales pitch. The tech industry has gone from "our product will change your life" to "our product might end all life, but look how efficiently it'll do it!" That 80% GPU market share will be super comforting when Skynet becomes self-aware.

HR interviewer asks what this code prints, and honestly? Same energy as asking "where do you see yourself in five years?" Nobody knows, nobody wants to figure it out, and the correct answer is probably "somewhere else." This is peak technical interview theater. The code is intentionally obfuscated garbage with single-letter variables, nested loops, random conditionals, and what appears to be an attempt to summon a daemon. It's the programming equivalent of asking someone to translate ancient Sumerian while standing on one leg. The real skill being tested here isn't "can you trace this code" but "can you maintain a professional smile while internally screaming." Spoiler: it probably prints underscores and dots in some pattern. Or segfaults. Either way, you're not getting hired based on this answer.