Guys What Do We Say About This

So Tom Cruise is out here hanging off planes at 60 while programmers at 30 look like they've been hit by a bus full of merge conflicts. Sitting is the new smoking, they said. But nobody warned us that debugging legacy code while hunched over a laptop for 12 hours would turn our spines into pretzels and our backs into a symphony of chronic pain. Meanwhile, Tom's doing his own stunts and we can't even stand up from our Herman Miller chairs without sounding like a bowl of Rice Krispies. The occupational hazard of choosing a career where "getting physical" means aggressively typing on a mechanical keyboard. At least we have good health insurance... oh wait, we need it.