Deducing your personality from your monitor setup 😊

Content This code is self-explanatory and doesn't need comments And Other Hilarious Jokes You Can Tell Yourself Volume II

Content C developer Python developer learning Python learning C

Hollywood would have you believe hackers are all chiseled jawlines in sleek environments, dramatically typing "ACCESS GRANTED" while staring intensely at someone. Meanwhile, actual hackers are just sleep-deprived cave dwellers surrounded by the archaeological layers of tech hoarding, surviving on energy drinks and pure spite, with enough ethernet cables to circle the equator twice. The only thing they're hacking is a path through their hardware graveyard to find that one specific adapter they swear they kept "just in case."

The classic "rescue" that no developer actually wants. The Scrum Master swoops in with their "Congratulations! You are being rescued!" only to follow it up with "Please do not resist" when they see the software engineers' lack of enthusiasm. Anyone who's survived a few years in the industry knows that being "rescued" by Agile methodology often means more meetings, more story points, and somehow even less time to write actual code. The Scrum Master thinks they're K-2SO saving the day, but the engineers are just lying there like "Just let me die in peace with my legacy codebase."

Ah yes, the sacred ritual of writing tests. Nobody wants to do them, but when that rare moment of inspiration strikes, you spend 45 minutes crafting the perfect variable name instead of actually testing anything. Look at those beautifully named constants! jennyWithCountryCode and jennySansCountryCode - probably took longer to name than the actual function they're testing. And you just know that developer felt an inappropriate amount of satisfaction after typing them. The real unit test was the clever variable names we made along the way.

Ah, the billionth GitHub repository and it's literally named "shit." Someone created a repo with the most eloquent name possible and GitHub's celebrating it like they just discovered cold fusion. The perfect representation of developer reality - for every groundbreaking project, there are 999,999,999 repositories of questionable utility. At least they got a cute notification with emojis for their contribution to humanity's collective knowledge base.