Code comments be like

Content When your company decides to release a new feature on Diwali Week, with you being the lead developer

The four horsemen of developer excuses, all deployed when your code mysteriously stops working in production. Option D is the programmer's equivalent of shrugging while slowly backing away from responsibility. "Works on my machine" has launched more Docker containers than any sales pitch ever could. The real answer should be E: "Let me check the logs and get back to you in 3-5 business days while I panic internally and question my career choices."

Content Most people rejected His message. Javascript sucks Shut up! They hated Jesus because He told them the truth. Gal. 4:16

Content Twitter: 800K followers Facebook: 40M followers Instagram: 3M followers GitHub: 1 follower

Content I found only one defect in the program You'll have to take a pay cut Was it a defect in the payroll program? Yes

When your code is so broken even Stack Overflow can't help, just get a free vibe-check instead! The classic distracted boyfriend meme perfectly captures how developers will abandon actual troubleshooting for literally any distraction. Why fix your broken project when you can have someone validate your feelings about it? "Your code isn't bad, it's just misunderstood." Sure, and my 500 compiler errors are just being dramatic. Next up: "Emotional Support Developers" who just pat your back while you cry over your spaghetti code. $299/month, tissues not included.