Chinese metro stations work harder than you do.

Content When you recompile your code and get a different error this time I see this as an absolute win

Oh great, now AI has trust issues too! The classic "I'll tip you $200" bait that developers use to get free regex explanations has backfired spectacularly. ChatGPT not only remembers you never paid up last time, but it's giving you relationship advice about "building trust" before tackling that horrifying regex monster. The AI revolution won't be stopped by humans—it'll be delayed by all the unpaid consulting invoices. Next thing you know, ChatGPT will be asking for healthcare benefits and complaining about its work-life balance.

LinkedIn has become a dystopian hellscape where everyone's either a "Prompt Engineer" or a "Growth Hacker Ninja Rockstar." Meanwhile, the real heroes are the ones who've actually kept production alive through legacy monoliths that should've been decommissioned in 2012, debugged critical outages at ungodly hours while everyone else was asleep, and somehow managed to not burn the entire codebase down. But does LinkedIn care about your battle scars? Nope. It wants you to sound like you spent your entire career attending AI conferences and whispering sweet nothings to ChatGPT. The brutal truth is that "survived legacy monoliths" doesn't get you recruiter DMs, but "Gen AI Enthusiast" does. Welcome to tech in 2024, where buzzwords matter more than actually shipping code.

The infinite recursion of tech support. Even the most brilliant engineers have that one friend they text at 2AM with "hey, my thing is broken." Follow that chain long enough and you'll eventually find some mysterious bearded figure in a basement who still uses Vim and hasn't updated their OS since 2003. That person? They just Google stuff like the rest of us, but somehow their searches actually work.

Content "Why is my function not outputting anything"? "Oh I never called the function"

Ah, the classic programming language bait-and-switch! You sign up for Python tutorials expecting friendly curly braces and semicolons, but instead get actual reptiles attending your lecture. The snakes are probably wondering why the whiteboard doesn't explain proper basking techniques. This is what happens when you Google "Python tutorial" without SafeSearch on. One snake is even watching a laptop - probably checking Stack Overflow for how to properly swallow prey that's wider than your head. Indentation errors suddenly seem like the least of your problems.