Chinese metro stations work harder than you do.

Left side: Mythical unicorn developer writing perfect code while jamming to music, solving problems methodically, and creating crash-proof software. Right side: The brutal reality where we're all just angry devs screaming profanities at our screens, wondering how the exact same code that worked yesterday is now throwing 47 new errors. The "vibe coding" side is basically programming in its natural habitat—complete with existential dread, keyboard abuse, and that special moment when you fix a bug by changing absolutely nothing. Just rerunning the same code and suddenly it works. Magic!

So you're having doubts about your coding career? Don't worry, the tech industry has prepared some lovely exit routes for you. Product management is the "I still want to be in tech but without the actual coding" path. Teacher is for those who think "if I can't do it, I'll teach it" (and honestly, respect). DevRel is basically getting paid to tweet and go to conferences while pretending you still code. And then there's goose farming – the most honest option here, because at least geese are upfront about being annoying and difficult to work with, unlike your CI/CD pipeline. The real kicker? Half the senior devs you know have already mentally chosen their path. They're just waiting for the right moment or the next production incident to pull the trigger.

Content Frank, what the hell are you doing man? I'm a 10x engineer now I use Copilot and ChatGPT, let me show you!

Content Programming What's up? What do you do all day? Well done, very responsible during the pandemic. Pandemic?

Content The code The code in my head in my repo changelog.com

The evolution of a security manager's mental state is just *chef's kiss*. Starting with the professional "let's convince the CEO to trigger a P0 incident for secrets in code" approach, quickly descending into threatening emails about rotating secrets.xlsx (because storing secrets in Excel is totally secure, right?). By panel three, they're forcing CloudOps and DevOps to rotate secrets during production hours because security trumps uptime! And finally, the inevitable resignation email after causing organizational chaos. The clown makeup progression perfectly captures how security managers often start with good intentions but end up becoming the villain in everyone's story after trying to enforce best practices in environments that resist change until it's too late.