Both Are The Same Honestly

The classic programmer's defense mechanism in its natural habitat! A massive military aircraft has smashed halfway through a hangar wall, and someone's slapped "It's not a Bug" on the top image. Then the bottom shot shows the same disaster with "It's a Feature" plastered on it. This is basically the software development equivalent of watching your code crash spectacularly in production and then convincing your product manager that users actually wanted their data obliterated. "No no, the application isn't destroying your files - it's streamlining your storage requirements !"

Content What I say: I'm a software developer. What people hear: I can resolve any tech issue you have ever or will ever have on any machine that exists in this universe. What I mean: Sometimes I try to tell the computer to do something and I cry when it doesn't work.

Content When release has to go out on Friday but you die on Thursday

Ah, Santa's gone full DBA this year! The perfect ugly Christmas sweater for that database admin who spends December filtering out the naughty list. Instead of checking it twice, Santa's running SELECT * FROM contacts WHERE behavior = 'nice' and sorting that table twice for good measure. The "SQL Clause is coming to town" pun is the kind of dad joke that makes junior devs roll their eyes while secretly wanting the sweater for themselves. Just pray Santa's database is properly indexed, or those good children might not get their presents until February.

Hobby coders: pristine, well-groomed, and probably still think programming is "fun." Meanwhile, professional developers look like they've been through a hurricane while chugging energy drinks just to stay conscious. Nothing destroys your will to live (and your hairline) quite like that 3 AM production bug that "works on my machine." The transformation from bright-eyed hobbyist to sleep-deprived code zombie takes approximately one sprint planning meeting and two deadline extensions.

Content What side are you on: nil null made with memat