Time estimates Memes

The AUDACITY of Project Managers thinking developers are just sandbagging timelines! 💅 Honey, I could absolutely crush this feature in 4 days flat if you'd stop scheduling 17 "quick sync" meetings and asking for "just one tiny change" every 3 hours! The look on this man's face is LITERALLY me trying not to scream "I TOLD YOU SO" when the PM suggests we could "fast track" if we "really pushed ourselves." Darling, my estimates already assume I'm mainlining caffeine and skipping bathroom breaks!

The eternal developer dilemma. Finish something in 4 hours that management estimated would take 6 months, and now you're stuck with the worst decision of your career: be honest and get rewarded with 5x more work, or pretend you're "still working on it" while secretly learning Rust on company time. The haunted look in that wojak's eyes tells the whole story. He's been here before. Last time he spoke up, they "rewarded" him with the legacy codebase nobody wants to touch. The time before that? On-call duty for a year. Pro tip: always multiply your estimates by 3, finish early, and keep a private stash of "almost done" screenshots for those status meetings. It's not procrastination, it's expectation management .

The eternal Agile standoff! 😂 Project Manager: "Story points are for velocity tracking!" Developer: *politely* "Actually, they measure complexity..." What the dev REALLY wants to say: "I NEED ACTUAL DAYS BECAUSE YOU'RE SECRETLY USING MY 'COMPLEXITY POINTS' AS TIME ESTIMATES ANYWAY! It's like paying me in game tokens but expecting AAA production quality!" Every sprint planning ever. The facade crumbles. Truth bombs dropped. Awkward silence ensues.