Telemetry Memes

Posts tagged with Telemetry

Linux Be Like

Linux Be Like
Linux sitting there like the only kid in class who didn't cheat on the exam while everyone else is comparing notes. Microsoft's out here with telemetry baked into every corner of Windows, Google's entire business model is literally "we know what you searched at 2 PM last Thursday," and Apple's playing the privacy card while still knowing your exact location down to the centimeter. Meanwhile, Linux is just genuinely confused why anyone would even want to collect user data in the first place. Open source means open code—can't hide spyware when thousands of neckbeards are reading every line you commit. It's like showing up to a surveillance capitalism party and being the only one who brought actual privacy.

The Four Horsemen Of Privacy Apocalypse

The Four Horsemen Of Privacy Apocalypse
The four horsemen of privacy apocalypse, ranked by self-awareness: Microsoft: Caught red-handed, frantically trying damage control. Google: "We're the good guys because we only harvest your browsing data, not everything ." Apple: "Yes we spy, but we told you in paragraph 347 of the EULA you definitely read." Linux: The vegan CrossFitter of operating systems. Doesn't spy and can't shut up about it.

You Ain't Stealing My Data Microsoft

You Ain't Stealing My Data Microsoft
The duality of the paranoid developer! First panel: frantically hunting through VS Code settings to disable Microsoft's telemetry like a digital privacy crusader. Matrix-style background because we're obviously elite hackers protecting our precious code snippets and search history. Second panel: immediately surrendering all that privacy by activating GitHub Copilot, which sends your entire codebase to Microsoft's servers for analysis. It's like installing a security system on your front door while leaving the back door wide open with a neon sign saying "FREE DATA HERE!" The true irony? We'll spend hours configuring privacy settings but won't hesitate for a second to let an AI see our embarrassingly commented code if it saves us from writing another boring CRUD function. Privacy principles