Slow internet Memes

Someone's got a ping of 2.6 BILLION milliseconds. For context, that's roughly 744 hours—or 31 days—of latency. At that point, you're not playing online multiplayer, you're sending smoke signals to the server. The best part? Someone in the comments did the math and pointed out it'd literally be faster to train a carrier pigeon to deliver your inputs. RFC 1149 (IP over Avian Carriers) was supposed to be a joke, but here we are, seriously considering it as a viable alternative. Somewhere, a dial-up modem is wheezing in sympathy.

Ah, the classic rural internet experience—where downloads move at the speed of continental drift. At 1,638 B/s, this poor soul is getting a whopping 1.6 KB per second, meaning their 1.6 GB file will finish downloading sometime next geological era. The "12 days left" is basically the computer's polite way of saying "maybe consider writing this down on paper instead." Village internet: where you can start a download, plant a tree, watch it grow to maturity, and still come back to see it's only at 43%.

The eternal struggle of downloading anything on a connection so bad it can't even finish a Minecraft Wiki page. That download bar showing "5 minutes left" is the universe's cruelest joke - we all know those 5 minutes will magically transform into 10 hours, then back to 3 minutes, then "connection lost." The fact they've already canceled one download attempt is the digital equivalent of waving a white flag. Trying to game with this internet is like trying to win Formula 1 with a tricycle.