Retirement Memes

When you realize your retirement savings are now tied to companies burning through billions with no clear path to profitability, just vibes and GPU clusters. The AI bubble has gotten so massive that even pension funds—the most risk-averse investors who usually stick to bonds and blue chips—are diving headfirst into unprofitable AI startups. Nothing says "sound financial planning" quite like betting grandma's retirement on a company that loses money on every API call but makes it up in hype volume. The emergency exit is right there, but like a good Ralph Wiggum, you're just gonna sit there and nervously chuckle while your 401k gets tokenized into oblivion.

The Silicon Valley developer lifecycle in five easy steps. Start with a MacBook and dreams of changing the world. Burn through Anthropic's Claude API credits like there's no tomorrow. Move to San Francisco because apparently that's a requirement. Realize you're spending $8k/month on a studio apartment to write CRUD apps. Retire to a farm in your 30s because the tech burnout is real and those chickens don't judge your code reviews. The "Die peacefully" ending is the cherry on top—because nothing says inner peace like escaping the on-call rotation forever and watching sunsets instead of deployment pipelines.