Process Memes

Posts tagged with Process

Goodbye Cruel World

Goodbye Cruel World
Ah, the digital equivalent of pulling the pin on a grenade and hugging it. This beautiful C# method finds every executable file on every drive in your system and launches them simultaneously. Perfect for when you want your computer to experience what it feels like to have a panic attack. The method name "LaunchAllExes" is just so refreshingly honest - like naming your self-destruct button "MakeEverythingExplode". Whoever wrote this probably also keeps their passwords in a file called "definitely_not_passwords.txt".

Fork It

Fork It
The eternal struggle of process management in operating systems, summarized in silverware. When you desperately need to duplicate a running process, the OS just gives you a fork() — which is both literally the perfect tool and absolutely useless at the same time. Sure, it creates a child process, but now you've got two nearly identical processes and twice the existential dread. Ten years of systems programming and I still can't decide if this is brilliant design or the universe's cruelest joke.

How To Catch A Programmer Hiding

How To Catch A Programmer Hiding
The horror movie villain's greatest weakness: corporate IT processes! Even knife-wielding maniacs can't bypass the sacred ticket system. The programmer's terrified face in panel 2 perfectly captures that moment when you realize someone's about to ask you for help via direct message instead of following protocol. And that final panel? Pure developer schadenfreude - watching the villain collapse at the mere mention of "submit a ticket" is basically what happens to any dev's soul when forced to deal with JIRA for the 47th time today. The ultimate developer defense system isn't a firewall - it's bureaucracy.