macos Memes

Ship Code Not Excuses He Says

Ship Code Not Excuses He Says
Someone left Microsoft because they wouldn't give them a MacBook, then proceeds to write a five-paragraph essay justifying their decision with the classic "Mac makes me more productive" argument. They talk about swapping terminals like a ninja, running Docker natively, and how their laptop sounds like a jet engine (spoiler: that's not the flex they think it is). Then they complain about Microsoft's 20-step auth and locked-down internal tools—valid gripes, honestly. But here's the kicker: after all this rambling about productivity and tooling preferences, they end with "Ship code, not excuses." Brother just shipped a whole manifesto instead of code. The irony is so thick you could deploy it to production. If you need a specific OS to be productive, you're not as productive as you think. Real devs ship code on a potato if they have to.

I Fixed It

I Fixed It
The ultimate OS decision flowchart: if you hate yourself, pick Windows, Linux, or macOS. If you don't hate yourself? Welcome to TempleOS, the divine operating system built by a single programmer who claimed to have received instructions from God. It's got a 640x480 16-color display, its own compiler, and absolutely zero networking capabilities because "the CIA doesn't need another backdoor." The joke here is that mainstream OS choices are all various flavors of suffering—driver issues, terminal commands that make no sense, or paying for the privilege of being told you're holding it wrong. But if you're mentally stable enough to NOT hate yourself, clearly you're unhinged enough to run an OS that treats programming like a religious experience. It's like saying "normal people problems or ascend to a different plane of existence entirely?"

Reality Of Choosing An OS

Reality Of Choosing An OS
A flowchart that cuts deeper than a segmentation fault! It starts with the innocent question "What OS should you use?" and immediately spirals into existential territory with "do you hate yourself?" If you answer YES, congratulations! You get to pick your poison: Windows (blue screen of death awaits), Linux (terminal commands for breakfast), or macOS (your wallet is crying). But if you answer NO? Well, the only logical solution is to burn your computer because apparently there's no escape from the suffering that is operating systems. The brutal honesty here is *chef's kiss* – every OS comes with its own unique brand of torture, so you might as well embrace the pain or just set everything on fire. There is no winning, only different flavors of defeat!

That Escalated Quickly...

That Escalated Quickly...
So you start with "STOP USING LINUX" (the gateway drug), then move to "STOP USING DISTROS" (because apparently the entire concept of distributions is now problematic), then "STOP USING HYPRLAND" (getting oddly specific here), and finally "STOP USING macOS" (because why stop at reasonable takes when you can speedrun becoming That Guy™). The progression from rejecting an entire OS family to nitpicking window managers to hating on Apple is the tech equivalent of "first they came for the penguins, and I said nothing." Each video gets progressively more unhinged, like watching someone's descent into madness but with more opinions about package managers. Next up: "STOP USING COMPUTERS" followed by "STOP USING ELECTRICITY" and finally "RETURN TO MONKE, CODE WITH STICKS."

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!
Nothing says "Happy Holidays" quite like your entire Apple ecosystem deciding to update simultaneously at 12%. The laptop's upgrading, the phone's boot-looping, and the iPad's doing... whatever iPads do when they're stuck on the Apple logo. It's like they all got together and said, "You know what would be fun? Let's all brick ourselves on Christmas morning." The best part? You can't even Google the error codes because your phone is also dead. So you just sit there, watching progress bars move slower than your sprint velocity, wondering if maybe this is a sign to spend time with your family instead. Spoiler: it's not, you need to fix this ASAP. Pro tip from someone who's been there: always keep one device NOT updating. It's called redundancy, and it's not just for production servers.

Linux Users Rose By 22.4% On That Site (I Guess This Is A Tradition Now)

Linux Users Rose By 22.4% On That Site (I Guess This Is A Tradition Now)
So Linux desktop traffic jumped 22.4% in 2025, and we all know exactly which "site" we're talking about here. You know, the one with the orange and black logo that rhymes with "corn tub." The joke is that every year, Linux users supposedly flock to adult entertainment sites in disproportionate numbers, creating this recurring meme where Linux gains massive percentage increases on *that* platform specifically. It's become an annual tradition to roast the Linux community for this statistical... anomaly. Meanwhile, Chrome OS is bleeding users (-7.1%) because apparently even Chromebook owners have standards. Windows barely budged, Mac stayed flat, but Linux? Linux users are out here single-handedly keeping the internet interesting with their 22.4% surge. The real question: are Linux users just more honest about their browsing habits, or is configuring Arch so exhausting that they need extra... relaxation time? Either way, 2025 is the year of the Linux desktop. Just not in the way Linus Torvalds imagined.

More Like Memory Drain

More Like Memory Drain
Oh sure, Apple devs, tell me again how it's just a "small memory leak in edge cases." Meanwhile, Calculator is out here PAUSED and still consuming 90.17 GB of RAM like it's trying to calculate the exact number of ways I've been betrayed by my IDE. IntelliJ IDEA is also paused and casually munching on 4.86 GB because apparently even when it's sleeping, it dreams in memory consumption. Docker Desktop? A modest 2.67 GB. PyCharm? Another 2 GB. Clock app using 82 MB just to... tell time? The real tragedy here is that your entire system is having a full-blown existential crisis, throwing up a "Force Quit Applications" dialog like a white flag of surrender. When opening your browser history tab counts as an "edge case" that brings your Mac to its knees, maybe—JUST MAYBE—it's not so small after all. But sure, keep gaslighting us about those "edge cases" while our machines literally run out of memory just existing.

Annoying For Parsing

Annoying For Parsing
Windows just can't help itself. While macOS and Linux civilized OSes use a simple \n for line endings, Windows insists on the verbose \r\n combo (carriage return + line feed, a relic from typewriter days). This makes cross-platform text parsing a nightmare—your regex breaks, your file diffs look like chaos, and Git constantly warns you about line ending conversions. It's like Windows showed up to a minimalist party wearing a full Victorian outfit. The extra \r serves literally no purpose in modern computing except to remind us that backwards compatibility is both a blessing and a curse.

The Cross-Platform Trifecta Of Pain

The Cross-Platform Trifecta Of Pain
Ah, the universal law of cross-platform development. Linux and Windows builds passing with flying green checkmarks while macOS is just sitting there with its red error badge like "I woke up and chose violence today." The ticket says "Fix macOS build #3" which implies this is the developer's third attempt at appeasing the Apple gods. At this point, they're probably considering whether learning to herd actual cats might be easier than dealing with macOS build issues.

Malware Blocked: When Your Mac Thinks Docker Is The Enemy

Malware Blocked: When Your Mac Thinks Docker Is The Enemy
When macOS thinks Docker is malware, it's like your paranoid grandma refusing to let your friend in because they're "dressed suspiciously." The irony of a containerization tool—literally designed to safely isolate applications—being flagged as malicious is peak Silicon Valley drama. Meanwhile, developers everywhere frantically Google "how to convince my Mac that Docker isn't trying to steal its identity" while questioning their career choices.

Machine Learning Made Too Easy

Machine Learning Made Too Easy
If only AI was this simple. Two lines of code and boom—sentient machines ready to take over the world. Meanwhile, my actual ML models need 500GB of training data just to recognize a hotdog. That dusty MacBook screen really completes the "exhausted data scientist" aesthetic. Nothing says "I understand neural networks" like pretending you can just call machine.learn() and go grab coffee.

Windows Vs Mac: The Developer Divide

Windows Vs Mac: The Developer Divide
The eternal battle between Windows and Mac developers is perfectly captured here. Windows devs proudly showing off their janky utilities that look like they were designed during the Clinton administration but hey—they're free and they work! Meanwhile, Mac devs create beautiful, polished apps that somehow require a subscription model to change your desktop background. The "compatible with Vista" part killed me—nothing says "I've given up on modern standards" quite like targeting an OS that even Microsoft wants to forget. It's the software equivalent of "my car might be ugly, but at least it starts... sometimes."