Jobmarket Memes

That glorious moment of power when a LinkedIn recruiter messages you about an "exciting opportunity" while you're comfortably employed. Suddenly you're no longer the desperate peasant begging for scraps—you're aristocracy, looking down your powdered nose at their "competitive salary" and "ping pong tables." The tables have turned, and now you get to ghost them after a single conversation. Revolutionary!

Ah, the classic LinkedIn resume time-travel paradox! This CS grad with a 4.3 GPA from Columbia somehow managed to intern at NASA, OpenAI, and Google before graduating, then immediately pivoted to their dream career... flipping burgers at McDonald's in May 2025 (which hasn't even happened yet). The chronological whiplash is giving me serious temporal complexity issues. It's like they implemented a reverse-sorted linked list of career achievements where Big O notation stands for "Order of fries, please." This resume perfectly captures that special moment when your algorithm for career progression throws an unexpected exception.

OH MY GOD, the AUDACITY of these LinkedIn recruiters! One minute they're sliding into your DMs with "I found your profile IMPRESSIVE" and the next—POOF!—they vanish into thin air the SECOND you dare ask about compensation! 💸 It's like watching a magician perform the world's fastest disappearing act, except the only thing being sawed in half is your patience! The recruiter's ghost game is STRONGER than their actual recruiting skills! And don't even get me started on the "competitive salary" nonsense... competitive with WHAT? A part-time job at the dollar store?!