Cryptomining Memes

Posts tagged with Cryptomining

Your Body Is Running Unauthorized Processes

Your Body Is Running Unauthorized Processes
So your body is basically running crypto mining malware when you're sick. That explains why I feel like garbage during flu season – my biological CPU is at 100% utilization running someone else's code. And here I thought installing antivirus software meant getting a flu shot. Next time I'm feverish, I'll just try turning myself off and on again.

Good Deal? Just A Small Scratch

Good Deal? Just A Small Scratch
Ah yes, the classic marketplace listing. "$420 for an RTX 3090 with a small scratch." That's like saying the Titanic had a "minor hull breach." What we're looking at is a graphics card that appears to have been rescued from a wood chipper. Someone clearly tried to mine crypto with a chainsaw attached. The seller probably thinks "lightly used" means "survived a house fire." But hey, at least the model number is still visible—perfect for identifying what's left at the crime scene.

The Great GPU Shortage Saga Continues

The Great GPU Shortage Saga Continues
The joke that never gets old, unlike your GPU! When Nvidia "displays their entire stock" of RTX 3080s in 2020, they're literally showing the ONE card they had available. Four years later and we're still experiencing the same supply chain theater - fancy press releases followed by six months of "out of stock" notifications. Scalpers continue to be the real GPU architects, designing elaborate systems to separate you from your money while you desperately try to run Cyberpunk above 30fps. The crypto bros may have moved on, but somehow graphics cards remain as elusive as documentation that actually matches the codebase.