Constants Memes

Someone's been reading Uncle Bob's "Clean Code" a bit too religiously! Instead of using normal array indexes like a sane person, they've created named constants for the values 0, 1, 2, and 3. It's like wearing a three-piece suit to take out the trash—technically more formal but completely unnecessary. This is what happens when you follow the "magic numbers are evil" principle without applying any common sense filter. Next up: creating a constant called PLUS_ONE because incrementing by 1 isn't self-documenting enough! 🤦‍♂️

The galaxy brain approach to coding: why bother with a handful of dynamic variables when you can create a magnificent constellation of magic numbers? Nothing says "I trust my future self" quite like hardcoding 50 constants instead of using meaningful variables that might actually explain what your code does. The real 200 IQ move is creating a codebase so rigid that when requirements change (and they always change), you get to play the exciting game of "find and replace across 47 files." Bonus points if you name them all var1 through var50 !

The existential crisis every developer faces at 2 AM while debugging. We name something a "variable" and then immediately declare it as "const" or "final" or "readonly" - essentially telling it not to vary. The cognitive dissonance is real! It's like naming your pet rock "Runner" or your cactus "Cuddles." No wonder our code gets confused and throws exceptions - we've been gaslighting our variables this whole time!