Clock Memes

Posts tagged with Clock

SQL Time Is Always Wrong Time
Databases Programming Debugging
11 months ago 662.9K views 0 shares
SQL Time Is Always Wrong Time
What happens when a DBA designs a clock? You get Roman numerals in completely random order because SQL queries without proper constraints do whatever they want. Notice how IX (9) is where 4 should be, and V (5) is at 6 o'clock. The comment "It Will Work This Time" is the eternal lie every developer tells themselves before running untested SQL in production. Spoiler: it never does.

Clock But It's SELECT DIGITS FROM NUMBERS ORDER BY DIGIT NAME DESC
Databases Programming
11 months ago 362.8K views 0 shares
Clock But It's SELECT DIGITS FROM NUMBERS ORDER BY DIGIT NAME DESC
OH. MY. GOD. This is what happens when you let a database admin design a clock! The numbers are in complete chaos because some SQL-obsessed maniac decided to ORDER BY DIGIT NAME DESC instead of, you know, ACTUAL NUMERICAL ORDER like a SANE HUMAN BEING! The SQL query literally sorted the digits by their spelled-out names in descending order, so "twelve" comes before "three" which comes before "ten" and so on. Can you imagine trying to tell time on this monstrosity?! It's like asking what time it is and getting back "SELECT CURRENT_TIME FROM REALITY WHERE SANITY = NULL"!

Clock But We Saved Db Space By Just Returning The Index Of The Array Of Digit Names
Programming Databases Frontend Backend
11 months ago 234.0K views 0 shares
Clock But We Saved Db Space By Just Returning The Index Of The Array Of Digit Names
The clock shows actual array indices instead of spelled-out numbers. Because why waste precious database space storing "seven" when you could just store 7 and let the frontend figure it out? This is what happens when the database optimization team gets to design the UI. Next up: replacing all button labels with enum values to save a few bytes. Your users will adapt.