Your Fun Has Been Suspended

Content STOP DOING RECURSION Functions were not supposed to call themselves YEARS OF WORK vet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for YEARS OF WORK - Statements dreamed vo by the utterly Deranged - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged (This is REAL computation, done by REAL computers): STOP DOINGERISO STOP DOINGRORSO STOP DOING POURSU ???? ???????? ?????????????????? "Hello I would like to Hello I would like to Halo 1 would tike to They have played us for absolute fools

The eternal developer job interview charade! Someone proudly claims they know "3 languages" which sounds impressive until they're pressed to name them. Turns out it's just the frontend trinity of JavaScript, HTML, and CSS. The interviewer's polite "thank you" speaks volumes—like claiming you're a polyglot because you know English, American English, and Australian English. Not exactly the C++, Rust, and Haskell flex they were hoping for. The classic "I'm a full-stack developer" starter pack strikes again!

Content Must haves this is an AND) N years in a software engineering role supporting real production systems at scale (for reasonable N). You've built shit; you've broken shit; you've gotten the 2am Pager Duty call and saved the day. Experience with Node, Postgres, Snowflake, PrefectAirflow, and other related technologies. If you think these are dumb choices, tell us why. Be smart and get shit done. Be a doer and a risk-taker. Nice to haves (this is an OR) Experience in web 2 ad tech, attribution, or user growth. You know how the Web 2 user sausage is made. Knowledge of and interest in crypto protocols and Web 3 projects. Experience with blockchain data tooling and infrastructure (what little there is). ProdrammerHumor io

Content Ryan - CodingWithRyan 28m Let's stop arguing over JavaScript vs Python and be thankful we don't have to use COBOL (0024 200251 p0027 p0030 30031 00032 p0033 20034 DO035 10036 00037 00038 0039 PROCEDURE DIVISION. 0001-MAIN. INSPECT FUNCTION REVERSE(STR-1) TALLYING WS-LENT FOR LEADING SPACES. WS-LEN - LENGTH OF STR-1 - WS-LENI, DISPLAY WS-LEN. COVE 1 10 1.1 MOVE WS-LEN TO J. PERFORM REV-PARA WS-LEN TIMES. DISPLAY STR-1. GOBACK. REV-PARA. MOVE STR-1(J:1) TO STR-2(1:1). ADD 1 10 1.

Ah, the browser engine family portrait! Two fierce, intimidating dragons (Chromium and Gecko) looking ready to burn your CPU to ashes, and then there's Apple's WebKit... the derpy cousin with its tongue hanging out who still can't figure out how to implement basic web standards from 2015. Frontend developers have nightmares about Safari the same way they used to about IE. "But it works in EVERY browser!" *tests in Safari* "...except that one." Nothing says "I hate web developers" quite like forcing your proprietary browser engine on the entire iOS ecosystem while it struggles with features Chrome and Firefox implemented during the Obama administration. The circle of life: Internet Explorer dies, Safari steps up to become the new browser that makes developers question their career choices.

Rust's borrow checker is like that strict parent who treats their kids differently. If you're coming from C/C++ where you could casually throw pointers around like confetti, the borrow checker gently pats your head: "Oh dear, gorgeous, let me help you avoid those memory leaks." But dare you come from Python or JavaScript thinking you can just assign variables willy-nilly? "YOU DONKEY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE TRYING TO USE THIS VARIABLE TWICE?!" Nothing humbles a high-level programmer faster than Rust screaming about ownership while your code refuses to compile for the 47th time.