None Of The Players Will Know The Tilesets Are Poop

The bravest soul in the tech universe, sitting there with a "4K IS OVERRATED" sign in 2023. This is like walking into a gaming convention with "RGB lighting causes cancer" written on your forehead. Meanwhile, this dude's probably coding on a 720p monitor from 2008 and telling everyone his eyes "can't see the difference anyway." Sure buddy, and I'm still using dial-up because broadband is "just a fad."

Why fix your spaghetti code when you can just demand players buy a $3000 gaming rig instead? Modern game development in a nutshell: "Can't run our unoptimized mess? Sounds like a YOU problem." Nothing says professional game design quite like shifting the burden of performance from talented developers to consumer hardware. Who needs efficient algorithms when you can just require 32GB RAM and the latest GPU that costs more than a used car?

Game development in a nutshell. Summoning a lava demon from the depths of hell? Just a couple of lines of code. Adding a scarf to a character model? That's when the engine crashes, your computer melts, and your coffee goes cold. The real black magic isn't conjuring digital demons—it's getting the cloth physics to work without breaking the entire build.

Indie game devs can't catch a break in the release calendar hunger games. First they dodge Silksong (the eternally delayed Hollow Knight sequel that would steal all their attention), only to find themselves up against Hades 2 instead. It's like carefully planning your product launch to avoid the Apple keynote, then discovering Google decided to drop their new tech the same day. That two-week marketing window just collapsed faster than my will to fix non-breaking legacy code.

Going to prison in 2009: GTX 480 was cutting edge. Coming back in 2023: "DLSS? Ray tracing? 40-series? Is this even the same planet?" The hardware acceleration gap hits harder than prison food. At least in jail you expect to get stabbed - graphics card prices these days are the real crime.

The programmer community's version of relationship advice is about as reliable as a Windows ME machine connected to public WiFi. That "hide your $3000 GPU from your wife" joke might get you upvotes, but it's the same energy as keeping production secrets in plaintext. Healthy relationships don't need version control to hide your commit history. Meanwhile, the single devs nodding along are the same ones who think they can fix merge conflicts by ignoring them. Trust me, after 15 years in tech, the only thing that should be hidden is your terrible code, not your hobbies.