Syntax Highlighting: Hair Edition

Content my linkedin profile R, python, javascript, shiny, dplyr, purrr, ditto, ggplot, d3, canvas, spark, sawk, pyspark, sparkly, lodash, lazy, bootstrap, jupyter, vulpix, git, flask, numpy, pandas, feebas, scikit, pm, bayes, h2o.ai, sparkling-water, tensorflow, keras, onyx, ekans, hadoop, scala, unity, metapod, gc, cllc, krebase, neo4j, hadoop. I typically ask recruiters to point out which of these are pokemon. ProdrammerHumor.io

Murphy's Law of demos: The probability of your app crashing approaches 100% as the importance of your audience increases. Nothing like watching your career flash before your eyes because some UUID that's supposed to be "universally unique" decided today was the day to prove statistics wrong. The best part? You'll spend the next week adding extra UUID validation that you'll never need again, but can't remove because you're now traumatized.

The ULTIMATE programmer flex isn't your GitHub stars or Stack Overflow rep—it's hitting F12 and editing HTML to make yourself look like a millionaire! 💸 HONEY, I'm not broke, I'm just one browser developer tool away from being FILTHY RICH! The look of sudden interest when your "bank balance" has more zeros than your production code has bugs is just... *chef's kiss* PRICELESS. Who needs actual money when you can just DOM-manipulate your way into looking like the next tech billionaire? It's basically the same thing! (Except when you try to pay for literally anything.)

Content JS var x 42; undefined 43 var name 42; undefined name 1 "421" JS ip.com

Content Planet Deaths 120,315,672,896 Has JavaScript NO NO YES NO NO 9 9 2 NO COINCIDENCE?

The ULTIMATE workplace personality split! 😭 Designers having full-blown existential crises when another creative joins the team - "AM I NOT ENOUGH?!" Meanwhile, engineers are over there like primitive geniuses forming their coding tribes with zero emotional damage. The sheer AUDACITY of designers thinking they're special unique snowflakes while engineers are just like "MORE MONKEYS TO HELP DEBUG THIS NIGHTMARE!" Engineers secretly know the truth: no single human can possibly untangle the unholy mess of legacy code they've created, so reinforcements are ALWAYS welcome. It's not collaboration, it's survival strategy!