Which Of You Fuckers

Content Programmers Stop using print statement as debugging tool OR draw 25

Content STOP DOING TYPES VARIABLES WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE MEANING. YEARS OF CODING yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for assigning more than a CHAR. Wanted to assign meaning anyway for a laugh? We had a method for that: It was called "GUESSING" "Yes please give me NULL of something. Please give me ANY of it." LOOK at what Programmers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the compilers debuggers we built for them. (This is SUPERIOR TYPESCRIPT, done by MASTERFUL Developers): type ConditionalTypeT T extends string type PizzaTopping "4" PromiseArrayRecordstring, unknown ? T extends "infer Firstinfer Rest? UppercaseFirst Rest ???? ??????? ???????????? "Hello, I would like never apples please" They have played us for absolute clowns.

The corporate-to-English dictionary nobody asked for but everyone needs. After 15 years in this industry, I've developed a finely-tuned BS detector for job listings. "Cutting edge technology" just means you'll be using React like literally everyone else. And that "fast-paced environment"? Translation: your hair will be on fire while management keeps asking why you're not coding faster. My personal favorite is "urgent need" – code for "our last developer rage-quit and left zero documentation." The whole "rockstar developer" thing is particularly rich... sure, I'd love to work 80-hour weeks for the same pay as 40! And don't get me started on "self-starter" which really means "we have absolutely no idea what we're doing, but we'll blame you when it fails." Print this out and keep it next to your desk for the next time you're job hunting. You'll need it to decode what you're actually signing up for.

Content About Us: We're a stealth startup on the verge of launching an innovative mobile app on iOS, Android and a web applicationplatform. Our app is built on a modern tech stack, and we're looking for a highly-skilled mobile developer to join as a founding team member. This is an opportunity to be part of something big from the ground up. The Role: As the Founding Mobile Developer, you will take ownership of the entire mobile development process, from architecture and coding to deployment and maintenance. You'll work closely with the founders to shape the product and bring it to market. What You'll Do: Design, develop, and maintain the mobile app on both iOS and Android platforms. Collaborate with cross-functional teams to define, design, and ship new features. Ensure the performance, quality, and responsiveness of applications. Identify and fix bugs, and continuously improve the app's performance. Stay up-to-date with new mobile technology trends, frameworks, and tools. Required Skills: iOS Development: Strong experience with Swift and Xcode. Android Development: Expertise in Java and Android Studio. Knowledge of RESTful APIs and integration of third-party libraries and APIs. Experience with version control (Git, GitHub). Familiarity with mobile UIUX standards and design patterns. Ability to debug and optimize app performance for efficiency. Bonus Skills (Nice to Have): Experience with Kotlin for Android or Obiective-C for iOS. Experience with cross-platform frameworks like React Native or Flutter. Knowledge of cloud services (AWS, Firebase, etc.). Understanding of DevOps and continuous integration tools (Jenkins, GitLab CI). What We're Looking For: A proactive, problem-solving mindset and an entrepreneurial spirit. Strong attention to detail and a passion for building seamless user experiences. Ability to work independently and as part of a small team in a fast-paced startup environment. Willingness to wear multiple hats and tackle various challenges as we scale. Compensation: Equity-Based: Compensation is in the form of equity until we launch and begin generating revenue, after which a salary will be provided

Content Vishal VishalMalvi Want someone to hold my hand and say, "let's fix this bug together"

Content Ok let's try running this code console. log("Hello World"); Output: ERROR Alright mavbe then this will work let str "Hello World"; console.log (str); Output: ERROR 4 HOURS LATER This is getting ridiculous, I'll just restart at step 1 Output: ERROR console. log("Hello World"); Output: Hello World! THAT WAS THE FIRST THING I TRIED!!!!