Buggy Bugs

Content Luc C. accolades dev Programming is not: fix my computer create a google account for me fix my router buy me an iPhone online hack my partner's FB account build a website for free make me an app that tells me how to build a website This is my own experience! Anything to add? 4:42 PM 22052020 Twitter for iPhone

The top panel shows multithreading chaos with threads printing out of order and overlapping each other—basically your brain running four processes simultaneously with zero synchronization primitives. The middle panel shows the dream: perfectly ordered thread execution. Like when you fantasize that medication will magically transform your brain into a beautiful sequential processor. But the brutal reality in the bottom panel? Your brain just kills three threads entirely. Sure, it's deterministic now... but at what cost? Single-threaded performance isn't exactly a feature upgrade when you're trying to parallel process life. And yeah, technically it's better than a race condition. At least you know exactly what's happening—absolutely nothing on those other threads.

When your algorithm skills are so bad, you take logarithmic problems and somehow turn them into cubic complexity nightmares. It's like having a superpower, but the worst one possible. Your brain is essentially an inefficiency generator that would make computer scientists weep. For the uninitiated: O(log(n)) represents highly efficient algorithms that barely break a sweat as inputs grow, while O(n³) is the computational equivalent of trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon. Congratulations on being a walking computational disaster!

Ah, the ultimate fingerprint for identifying stolen code—identical bugs! Bethesda didn't just catch Warner copying their code; they caught them copying their exact same bugs . It's like a thief stealing your car but forgetting to fix the broken radio that plays nothing but Kenny G at full volume. The irony is chef's-kiss perfect: Bethesda, a company notorious for shipping games with more bugs than features, using those very bugs as evidence in a lawsuit. "Your Honor, we can prove they stole our code because their game is just as broken as ours, in exactly the same ways!" It's like the digital equivalent of finding your missing sock in your neighbor's laundry—except the sock still has that weird hole you never got around to fixing.

Content HOW PEOPLE TALK TO DOCTORS VS HOW PEOPLE TALK TO ENGINEERS Doctor, your knowledge and experience are precious to humanity, please help us! Just fix it you cunt

The perfect metaphor for software deployment doesn't exi— That confident "Yeah, probably..." followed by a LITERAL EXPLOSION nine seconds later is the most accurate representation of production releases I've ever seen. It's that special moment when your PM asks "Is the release ready?" and you say "Sure!" while frantically trying to remember if you tested that one edge case where the user inputs their name in Klingon while standing on one foot. SpaceX rockets and software deployments share the same two possible outcomes: spectacular success or spectacular failure. There is no in-between. At least rocket scientists expect explosions occasionally - developers are just expected to cry quietly in the server room.