Not Really A Devops Guy

The evolution of code sharing has reached its final form! First, we have GitHub - the standard way professionals share code. Then Google Drive - when you're desperate and don't know version control exists. Next level: taking a PICTURE of your code - the debugging equivalent of sending "pls fix" to your senior dev at 4:59pm on Friday. But the galaxy brain move? Reading your code aloud and publishing it as an audiobook on Amazon. Imagine listening to someone monotonously reciting "for i equals zero semicolon i less than array dot length semicolon i plus plus open curly brace" during your morning commute. That's not just programming - that's psychological warfare against humanity itself.

Content Backend Software Develo... D-Orbit Lisboa, Portugal in Candidatura simplificada Salvar Qualifications and Requirements Strong experience in Python programming (at least 3 years): Knowledge of asynchronous programming: Strong knowledge about Pythons' unit testing frameworks (preferably pytest); Experience in the use of Cython library for generation of python extensions; Strong experience in Java programming (preferable experience in Kotlin): Experience in maintaining Java based web applications: Strong experience in C programming; Strong experience in the use and design of REST APIs; Strong experience on event-driven architectures (pubsub pattern); Strong familiarity with Git distributed version control system; Strong experience of the use of commandline of the Linux based operating systems; Strong experience in debugging distributed applications potentially running in remote environments: Experience in agile development methodologies (e.g.. Scrum, TDD); Experience with applications that handle large datasets: Experience in implementing caching mechanisms (i.e., using Redis); Experience in NoSQL databases such as Cassandra and Redis; Experience in relational databases, namely PostgreSQL: Experience using Kafka, MQTT and Redis as message brokers: Experience in cloud-based environments, namely AWS; Experience in the definition and use of Docker containers; Experience in orchestration of docker containerized microservices using Kubernetes; Some experience in working under DevOps oriented methodologies: Pipeline definition: Test execution automation; Some experience in web application development using the microservices architectural paradigm; Experience in designing web-based applications considering the need for scalability, reliability and security; Experience with Jira framework: Experience of bash shell scripting; Experience in JavaScriptTypescript: Experience in authentication and authorization mechanisms; Experience with event bus technologies (e.g., Kafka);

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute SHADE of this meme! 💀 While other industries see their customers as actual humans, the software industry is over here picturing us as either cartoon villains, suspicious hackers, government spies, or—my personal favorite—LITERAL SERVERS IN A DATA CENTER! The audacity! Like, honey, I just wanted to use your app, not get profiled as a potential national security threat! This is why I have to enter a 27-character password with hieroglyphics and my grandmother's maiden name just to check my email. The paranoia is REAL!

The entire tech industry right now is just a Jenga tower of random components with AI duct-taped to the side. Venture capitalists throwing money at anything with "AI-powered" in the pitch deck while engineers frantically try to keep the whole rickety structure from collapsing. Meanwhile, my toaster now needs a privacy policy and wants to know my location. Progress!

Nothing triggers financial panic quite like remembering you left an AWS instance running. That $5 test server you spun up "just for a minute" three months ago? It's now draining your bank account faster than a teenager with your credit card at an Apple Store. The cloud giveth, and the cloud taketh away—usually from your checking account. Next time you're wondering why you're eating ramen for the third week straight, check your AWS console. Mystery solved.

Content UK WORLD WEIRD TECH Millions of websites went down across the internet today after massive Cloudflare outage TE Jasper Hamill Tuesday 2 Jul 2019 3:00 pm Cloudflare blames 'bad software' deployment for today's outage At some point today, a developer at Cloudflare will be having a very dificult meeting. We have all been there. pravforthecloudflaredevs