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Content How to fix any computer Windows Step 1. Reboot Did that fix it? Nor Proceed to step a Step a Format hard drive. Reinstall Windows Lose all your files Quietly weep Apple Step 1. Take it to an Apple store Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step a Buy a new Mac Overdraw your account Quietly weep Linux Step 1. Learn to code in C. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros. Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giant beard. Blame Sun Microsystems. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hygiene. Write a regular expression that would make other programmers cry blood. Learn to code in Java. Recompile the kernel again (but this time while wearing your lucky socks). Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step a. Revert back to Using Windows or a Mac Quietly weep

Content when you run a query to update around 80 records and see the message "7462637 rows affected."

Content ALL MODERN DIGITAL INFRASTRUCTURE aL BEEN THANKLESSLY MAINTAINING SINCE 1997

Content My brain after 8 hours of sleep My brain after 4 hours of sleep I just added 15 new classes, 28 integration tests, and have 80 code coverage ProdrammerHumor.io Help, the compiler is saying "Syntax Error"

Content Corey Quinn QuinnyPig: 6h If I do a " git pull' on elastic's Logstash repository, it pulls down 113.16 MiB from GitHub. Fully 66MB of that is a binary WAR file erroneously committed to git in 2013. That's right. Over half of every transfer of that wildly popular repo is a file some moron messed up. 9 19 1751 407 Corey Quinn QuinnyPig Who was that moron? Me. It was entirely me. I just discovered this in a chat with jordansissel. Oopsie. commit e178383d27422d90718ee7436619fb36731fdd82 Author: Corey Quinn coreysequestered.net Date: Sun Feb 24 22:01:42 2013 -0800 Remove large binary because I'm foolish commit fd93322c903a49febe8ad454c9e03a7e86327389 Author: Corey Quinn cquinnsoap.epicquinn.net Date: Sun Feb 24 21:49:32 2013 -0800 Initial packaging work for deb building

Content AM25TIO