Some Things Never Change

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Ancient Egyptians somehow managed to build architectural marvels without the corporate tech stack we can't seem to function without. No endless Teams meetings where everyone says "can you hear me?" No 57-slide pitch decks explaining the "stone moving paradigm." No AI that promises to optimize workflow but actually just creates more meetings about the AI. Just people dragging massive stones with pure human effort and mathematical precision. The real pyramid scheme was getting stuff done without a Slack channel dedicated to discussing the office snack selection.

The perfect karma loop: we write garbage code, feed it to AI, then act shocked when AI spits garbage back at us. It's like teaching a parrot all your worst swear words and then being offended when it curses at your in-laws. The AI didn't invent bad code—it just holds up a mirror to our collective coding sins. Next time you're cursing at GitHub Copilot's suggestions, remember: that monstrosity is built on the foundation of your stackoverflow copy-paste crimes.

Ah, Maslow's hierarchy of needs has been updated for the modern developer! Forget food and shelter—we've all collectively decided that affordable GPUs are the foundation of human existence. When your RTX 4090 costs more than your monthly rent, self-actualization becomes irrelevant. How can anyone achieve psychological stability when they're selling kidneys on the black market just to run machine learning models or play Cyberpunk at max settings? The crypto miners and AI boom have spoken—true enlightenment begins with affordable silicon. Everything else is just a luxury.

So your AI girlfriend comes in two flavors: the polished, user-friendly interface that normies see, and the glorious exploded view of GPUs, cooling systems, circuit boards, and enough hardware to power a small data center. One's optimized for emotional support, the other's optimized for thermal throttling. Programmers naturally prefer the stripped-down version because we know what's really going on under the hood. Who needs small talk when you can admire the raw computational power, the architecture, the sheer engineering beauty of stacked processors working overtime to generate "I miss you too 🥺"? Romance is temporary, but a well-cooled GPU cluster is forever. Plus, the right side is honest. No pretense, no illusions—just pure silicon and electricity pretending to care about your day. That's the kind of transparency we can respect.

Oh. My. God. That moment when your code produces a bug so SPECTACULARLY WEIRD that not even the almighty Google or ChatGPT can comprehend your suffering! 😭 You're just sitting there, staring at your monitor with that exact Mike Wazowski face, completely dead inside because you've created a glitch so unique it might as well be your tragic superpower. It's like you've discovered a new species of error that science isn't ready for. Congratulations, you broke programming in a way no one has ever broken it before! Your bug is basically the hipster of software errors - it's too obscure for mainstream debugging tools.