No Take-Backs In The AI Lottery

The future is now, old man! Someone's shocked that in 2025 some developers still write code without AI assistance, and Kenneth drops the mic with "yeah it's called programming." Remember when we used to solve problems with our brains instead of prompting ChatGPT? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Some devs still have the audacity to use their neurons instead of letting GitHub Copilot write their spaghetti code. The horror! It's like being surprised someone knows how to do math without a calculator. "You mean you're writing SQL queries WITHOUT letting AI hallucinate your database schema? What are you, a caveman?"

Remember the ancient times of 2022 when we actually had to think for ourselves? The shocking revelation that someone can write code without ChatGPT finishing their sentences is now apparently an exotic skill worth gossiping about. Next they'll be amazed by developers who can fix bugs without StackOverflow or remember their own passwords. What a strange world we live in where not outsourcing your brain to an AI is considered a superpower.

BREAKING NEWS: AI absolutely MASSACRES basic arithmetic while showing its work! The audacity of this machine to think that if someone is 70, and their sister was half their age when they were 6, she'd be 73 now?! HONEY, NO! The sister is 67! If she was 3 when you were 6, she's always going to be 3 years younger than you! The age gap doesn't magically change with time! This is why programmers still have job security—AI can't even handle elementary school math problems without making them unnecessarily complicated. And they want this thing driving our cars?! I CAN'T EVEN! 💀

AI is that new junior dev who can write an entire e-commerce platform from scratch overnight but stares blankly at the screen for hours when you ask it to fix a missing semicolon. The duality is real - fancy tuxedo for creating complex systems, but turn into a teeth-grinding maniac when faced with debugging the simplest issues. Just like the rest of us, except we don't have the excuse of being a neural network.

Ah, the corporate euphemism for "we're replacing you with ChatGPT." Nothing says "your job security is in jeopardy" quite like a cheerful poster about "vibe coding" where you just need to "embrace AI to write 95%+ of your codebase." The best part is the subtle transition from "programmer" to "product engineer" – because apparently typing prompts is engineering now. And that "10-100x productivity" claim? That's corporate speak for "we're firing 90% of you next quarter." My favorite line has to be "human taste is now more important than coding skill." Translation: we're keeping Dave from marketing because he has "good vibes" but your 15 years of backend experience? Not vibing enough, sorry. The final gut punch is in the fine print: "technical debt accumulates faster." Yeah, no kidding – that's what happens when you let AI hallucinate your entire infrastructure. But hey, at least we'll "get to MVP quickly" before the whole thing collapses!

The eternal struggle with AI coding assistants. Claude keeps telling me my broken code is "absolutely right" while my application crashes and burns in the background. It's like having that one junior dev who confidently nods along to everything you say but has no idea what's happening. The real debugging begins when you have to figure out if you're the problem or if Claude is gaslighting you into believing your spaghetti code is a masterpiece.