Idont Eventest

Hobby coders: pristine, well-groomed, and probably still think programming is "fun." Meanwhile, professional developers look like they've been through a hurricane while chugging energy drinks just to stay conscious. Nothing destroys your will to live (and your hairline) quite like that 3 AM production bug that "works on my machine." The transformation from bright-eyed hobbyist to sleep-deprived code zombie takes approximately one sprint planning meeting and two deadline extensions.

Content eyFlorian Today at 16:05 isalive("Lugico"); Lugico Today at 16:05 true eyFlorian Today at 16:06 getaktion("Lugico"); Lugico Today at 16:06 Action.EmptyingDishwasher eyFlorian Today at 16:07 await discord.call("Lugico"); Lugico Today at 16:09 Error on Line 1: 'await discord.call("Lugico");' Recipient "Lugico" is unavailable Please try again in about 1.5h eyFlorian Today at 16:10 sleep (5400s); Lugico Today at 16:33 Upload screenshot of chat history to rProgrammerHumor? (yn): eyFlorian Today at 16:34 Task exited with no errors Lugico Today at 16:35 Invalid answer. Expected "y" or "n" (edited) eyFlorian Today at 16:36 y Lugico Today at 16:36 Uploading...

Content IT SECURITY: YOU PASSED THE PHISHING TEST ME WHO NEVER OPENS ANY EMAILS

Remember when you joined that startup with the "fun culture" and "exciting codebase"? Six months of maintaining their spaghetti code built on vibes and Stack Overflow copypasta, and you're basically a walking advertisement for burnout. The transformation from bright-eyed developer to hollow-souled code zombie happens faster than you can say "technical debt." Your morning coffee has been replaced by pure desperation, and your Git commits now consist entirely of "please work" and "I don't know why this fixes it." Vibe coding: when documentation is just a cute suggestion and comments are for the weak.

The AUDACITY of developers to feel like GODS among mortals because they fixed a bug THEY CREATED IN THE FIRST PLACE! 🙄 The emotional journey from "I fixed a bug today" to the devastating revelation that it was "my own" is just *chef's kiss* perfection. Then the SHEER DELUSION of asking "am I a genius?" followed by that smug self-congratulatory "I really can't say, but yes" is the most accurate portrayal of developer narcissism I've ever witnessed. We're literally celebrating not setting our own houses on fire after playing with matches! The bar is on the FLOOR, people!

The AI assistant lifecycle in six painful acts. First, AI screams it has the "BEST SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM!" Then you explain "IT IS NOT WORKING." The AI pivots: "OKAY, TRY THIS APPROACH INSTEAD!" But it's "NOT EVEN CLOSE TO WHAT I NEED." The AI proudly declares it "WORKS ON MY DATASET!" before you finally storm off muttering "WILL DO IT MYSELF." It's the modern version of "works on my machine" except now we're gaslighted by a model trained on StackOverflow instead of a coworker who refuses to admit their code is broken. The circle of tech life continues...