You Are The Problem

Content THE TORONTO RECURSIVE HISTORY PROJECT OF TORONTO'S RECURSIVE HISTORY This plaque was commemorated on October 10, 2018, to commemorate its own commemoration. Plaques like this one are an integral part of the campaign to support more plaques like this one. By reading this plaque, you have made a valuable addition to the number of people who have read this plaque. To this day and up to the end of this sentence. this plaque continues to be read by people like yourself. Heritage Toronto 2018

Content YOUR CODE IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE WORST I HAVE EVER RUN BUT IT DOES RUN

Content "1" We're so alike... but he's just not my type. 1

Content Our team is very Agile Do you plan future work months in advance? It's not a simple answer because Do you have hour-long standups involving 30 people where every ticket spans multiple sprints? Yes, however Thank you.

PC users panic when their GPU hits 80°C. Meanwhile, laptop owners casually sip coffee while their device doubles as a space heater during Zoom calls. Nothing says "working from home" like coding with third-degree thigh burns and watching your battery drain faster than your morning coffee. The real reason laptop cooling pads exist? So you can still have children someday.

The AUDACITY of this man declaring he'll remove 1.8 MILLION lines of spaghetti code like he's some divine code savior! 💀 Listen, honey, that legacy codebase has survived THREE team leads, FOURTEEN coffee machines, and approximately NINE THOUSAND deployments. It's not code at this point—it's an archaeological treasure that belongs in a museum! The new guy swaggering in with his refactoring dreams is about to learn that those tangled monstrosities are load-bearing nightmares holding the entire system together by sheer willpower and duct tape. Good luck explaining to clients why their precious features suddenly "took a vacation" because you thought you understood what that 2013 uncommented function was doing!