When your team successfully hits the deadline

Content DON'T KNOW WHAT UNIT TESTS ARE AND AT THIS POINT IM TOO AFRAID TO ASK

Content Project Manager: We're going to build a facial-recognition application. Programmer: OK Project Manager: People will put in a photo, and it will search a database for matching faces. Programmer: OK Project Manager: And while it's doing that, it should flash up, on screen, a slide show featuring hundreds of other random faces which definitely aren't a match Programmer: No that's stupid we're not doing that.

Someone built a "Is This Tech Dead?" website to check if Python is dying, only to get personally attacked by their own creation. The site reports Python has a "Deaditude Score" of just 17.6% (very much alive), then delivers the fatal blow: "Healthier than your work-life balance." That's the digital equivalent of asking your smart scale your weight and it responding "less than your emotional baggage."

Content Me returning from parental leave first Teams login IN fresh plan Not Resh Alan A Read da Reck No Repo migrated no access Site rebranded, redesigned Breaking changes pushed to prod No Project Manager "Let's have a stakeholder demo tomorrow!"

Content BLAME WAS IT ME? WHO WROTE THIS CRAP? NOT: ME ( MONKEYUSER.COM

HONEY! The bank just emailed! My literal NOTHING is on its way! 🎉 Can't wait to open that empty package of pure void and stare into the existential abyss of my bank account! They even let me track my non-existent card! How thoughtful! It's like Christmas morning except Santa brought me a beautiful gift-wrapped box of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Programmers everywhere feeling that special joy when their null references escape into the real world. Bank developers probably sitting there like "Did we just ship... nothing? Eh, ship it anyway!"