When the documentation is trash but you make do with what you got

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Content WRITES UNMAINTAINABLE CODE LEAVES COMPANY

The eternal irony of software engineering: we spent decades building beautiful OOP abstractions with encapsulation, inheritance, and polymorphism, only to throw it all away the moment we need to persist data. SQL databases force us to flatten our elegant object hierarchies into normalized tables, then painfully reconstruct them with JOINs. The meme roasts SQL's quirks with surgical precision: case sensitivity that makes you question your life choices, tables that are just "rows of stuff" (goodbye encapsulation), and foreign keys that are basically pointers but worse. The "WHERE LIKE" and "SELECT FROM of it" mockery is chef's kiss—SQL reads like English written by someone who learned programming from a fever dream. Those three CREATE TABLE examples? Pure gold. MySQL's arbitrary constructor order, PostgreSQL declaring types before names (backwards from most languages), and Oracle forgetting strings exist entirely. Each database vendor decided to implement SQL their own special way, creating a fragmentation nightmare. The punchline "Hello I would like INNER JOIN apples please" perfectly captures how unnatural SQL feels compared to object navigation. Instead of customer.orders , you're writing verbose JOIN ceremonies. Object-relational mapping exists precisely because this impedance mismatch is so painful.

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The instant someone discovers you work with computers, their brain immediately jumps to "tech support wizard who can fix anything with a power button." The selective hearing kicks in - they start the question, you're already mentally disconnecting. Ten years of building complex systems and mastering three programming languages, but Aunt Karen still thinks your primary skill is resurrecting her 2007 inkjet printer that's been possessed by demons since Windows Vista. The modern programmer's defense mechanism: develop the ability to tune out any sentence that begins with "Hey, so you study computers right? Can you fix my-"

Seeking the answer to parsing HTML with regex is like waiting for divine wisdom that never comes. 7.5*10^6 years later (that's longer than Earth has existed), and the computer's still thinking... because there IS no good answer. The punchline? Using regex to parse HTML is fundamentally flawed. HTML is a context-free grammar while regex is a regular expression - mathematically incapable of handling nested structures properly. It's like trying to eat soup with a fork - theoretically possible if you're desperate enough, but there are proper tools for that (like actual HTML parsers). The comic brilliantly captures the eternal wait for a solution that doesn't exist. Some problems in programming aren't meant to be solved - they're meant to be avoided entirely.