Tom Vs Thomas

Starting them on sudo rm -rf / before they can even hold their own bottle. That kid's going to be compiling kernels before kindergarten. The facial expression says it all - "Dad, I just wanted Cocomelon, not a lecture on bash scripting." Next week: Docker containers as building blocks.

Nothing triggers a programmer's fight-or-flight response quite like someone casually asking "Can you hack someone?" as if we're all secretly cyber criminals with a side hustle in identity theft. The visible shaking isn't from caffeine overdose this time—it's the pure existential dread of explaining for the 500th time that writing a React component and breaking into the Pentagon are slightly different skill sets. Next time someone asks, just reply "Yes, but only on Tuesdays when Mercury is in retrograde and my RGB keyboard is set to purple." Works every time.

My API keys are now getting more sunshine than I am. Nothing says "senior developer energy" like casually exposing your entire security infrastructure to the local wildlife while pretending you're achieving work-life balance. Those red lines aren't just API keys—they're a speedrun to unemployment. Pro tip: If you're going to commit career suicide, at least do it with a better view than your neighbor's flag.

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