The Last-Minute Git Push Inferno

Ah yes, the classic Linux evangelism. "Just use Linux" they say, as if it's one simple thing to install. Meanwhile, what they don't tell you is that "Linux" is actually this comically overwhelming family tree of distributions that would make genealogists have a panic attack. That image shows the absurd branching evolution of every Linux distro ever created. Ubuntu, Debian, Arch, Fedora, Gentoo, and about 500 others I've never heard of despite using Linux for 15 years. It's like walking into an ice cream shop and instead of just chocolate or vanilla, there are 600 flavors and the guy behind the counter is judging you for not knowing the difference between Mint Cinnamon and Mint MATE.

Content So, you pushed to PROD today? WITH TINN Yes, but it's not friday. Now shut up! It's wednesday before a long weekend, so technically it's friday

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The four horsemen of the programming apocalypse have arrived, and they're all equally insufferable in their own special ways! You've got the Imperative Stoneager who treats modern tools like they're the devil's work and proudly writes software that even cavemen would find outdated. Then there's the Functional Elitist who thinks "monad good" is a complete sentence and writes code on paper because actually running it would be too mainstream. The OOP Boilerplater is living his best life drowning in design patterns and creating class hierarchies so deep they need their own geological survey. Meanwhile, the Safety-Obsessed Newager has written 47 pages of documentation on how to hack an Arduino but his greatest achievement is changing his terminal's color scheme. The real tragedy? They're all using software written by the imperative stoneager because it's the only thing that actually works.

Content Programmers when developing Al that can take their jobs and the jobs of many other people:

Content Debugger 08.03751 -QM 8621 This is brilliant. console.log Debugger OB, BJ 751 K.QM 8621 But I like this.