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Ah yes, the sacred transformation ritual. Buy a MacBook, read half of an O'Reilly book, and suddenly you're qualified to rewrite Google's codebase from scratch. The cartoon character's smug little face says it all – that special moment when you've learned just enough HTML to update your LinkedIn title to "Full Stack Engineer." Meanwhile, actual developers are crying in the corner with their decade of experience and impostor syndrome.

Forget sharks, serial killers, or even death itself. The true nightmare fuel is that one competitive programming problem that's been haunting your GitHub for three years. You know, the one where you've tried 47 different approaches, scrolled through StackOverflow until your finger developed carpal tunnel, and still get "Time Limit Exceeded" on test case #217. The problem that makes you question your entire career choice at 2AM while surrounded by energy drink cans and broken dreams. Death is merciful – CP problems are forever.

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Content Thomas Fuchs Follow thomasfuchs Legendary Apollo project programmer Margaret Hamilton, next to a printout of the nodemodules directory listing for her first Hello World react app 1:54 PM - 7. Mar 2019