How programmers comment their code...

Ah, the classic tale of parental choices having unexpected consequences. Mom's casual Tylenol consumption during pregnancy somehow transformed junior into a multi-monitor code warrior. Turns out those headache pills were actually coding bootcamp vouchers in disguise! The real pain reliever would've been learning that six monitors and a lifetime of debugging other people's spaghetti code was the side effect they forgot to list on the bottle. Should've read the fine print: "May cause offspring to develop unhealthy relationships with semicolons and an expensive monitor habit."

Content Spiders are the only web developers that enjoy finding bugs

Content JEFFY, WHERE'S DADDY? , YAY! WHeeCeRC's mommy? OKAY JEFFY WHERE IS IPv5? ? ?

Content Actual Viruses Program I wrote on another computer Windows defender DOWS defender WOO WEE WOO

Ah, the ancient debugging technique of sprinkling print() statements throughout your code like some deranged confetti cannon. Sure, actual debuggers exist with their fancy breakpoints, variable inspection, and step-through execution... but why use sophisticated tools when you can just scream into the void with random console outputs? Nothing says "professional developer" quite like 47 variations of print("HERE!!!") , print("WHY????") , and the classic print("AAAAAAHHHHH") . The debugger button sits there, judging you silently, while you choose chaos instead.

Salvation through functional programming! The creator of this masterpiece has blessed us with the holiest of conditional statements—baptism implemented in Haskell. The function returns Maybe Person because even divine intervention respects type safety. If you're already baptized? Return Nothing . Otherwise, you get Just (markBaptized p) . The conditionalBaptize function even uses monadic composition with maybe to handle the uncertainty of salvation. Next time your code needs saving, remember that even spiritual transformations can be expressed as pure functions with no side effects—except eternal life, of course.