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Functional programming: where simple loops become philosophical dissertations on category theory. The cult that promised elegance but delivered AbstractWidgetLocalizerManagerFactoryBean instead. You know you've reached peak programming enlightenment when asking for a simple function requires a PhD in mathematics and the ability to understand what a monad actually is (spoiler: nobody knows, they just pretend). The functional purists have been making us write fold and curry functions for years while secretly laughing at how we've traded straightforward code for the privilege of feeling superior at meetups. And we fell for it. Hook, line, and higher-order function.

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The classic "it works on my machine" problem just got upgraded to "it works in my demo"! Nothing says "cutting-edge AI" like a good old time.sleep(6) to simulate processing. The presenter's accidental Ctrl+C revealed the smoke and mirrors behind the curtain - that magical AI was just Python taking a 6-second nap! This is the tech equivalent of finding out the "live" concert was actually lip-synced. Next time they'll probably add print("AI THINKING VERY HARD") for extra realism.

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