don't even blink

Content Shampoo! Rinse! Apply Conditioner! 3 Rinse! THINK ABOUT THAT UNSOLVED BUG

Content BILLY! You shot the Project Manager This task shouldn't take more than 20 mins. Let's put hi out of his misery 1.

Content TYPES OF PROGRAMMERS BIG MECH FACE

Content MALLOC HEAP ALLOCATE MEMORY PLEASE

Content The most dangerous, unsafe code that could break evervthing try catch

The corporate-to-English dictionary nobody asked for but everyone needs. After 15 years in this industry, I've developed a finely-tuned BS detector for job listings. "Cutting edge technology" just means you'll be using React like literally everyone else. And that "fast-paced environment"? Translation: your hair will be on fire while management keeps asking why you're not coding faster. My personal favorite is "urgent need" – code for "our last developer rage-quit and left zero documentation." The whole "rockstar developer" thing is particularly rich... sure, I'd love to work 80-hour weeks for the same pay as 40! And don't get me started on "self-starter" which really means "we have absolutely no idea what we're doing, but we'll blame you when it fails." Print this out and keep it next to your desk for the next time you're job hunting. You'll need it to decode what you're actually signing up for.