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The pinnacle of language optimization right here. When told C is faster, this Python dev just wrote C code that... calls Python. It's like buying a Ferrari just to tow your bicycle to the race. The system call is literally saying "Hey C, can you ask Python to print Hello World for me?" This is what happens when you take "use the right tool for the job" and interpret it as "use all tools simultaneously for every job."

Self-loathing takes a backseat when you encounter smooth scrolling. Nothing triggers existential dread quite like watching your page float around like it's on ice skates instead of jumping to exactly where you clicked. Real developers disable that abomination immediately after OS installation. The mouse wheel should move in discrete chunks, as God intended.

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Starting them young with kernel compilation and chmod permissions. That baby's first words won't be "mama" but "sudo apt-get install". The look of existential dread on the infant's face says it all - forced into the cult of Tux before even learning to crawl. In 18 years, that kid will either be maintaining the Linux kernel or in therapy explaining how they were compiling Gentoo before potty training.