Xkcd-reference Memes

Posts tagged with Xkcd-reference

E Mudhra Certificate Authority Chose Random Numbers By Fair Dice Roll Guaranteed To Be Random

E Mudhra Certificate Authority Chose Random Numbers By Fair Dice Roll Guaranteed To Be Random
So apparently E Mudhra, a Certificate Authority that's supposed to be securing digital certificates and cryptographic operations, decided that "random number generation" means rolling a dice and getting... 4. Every. Single. Time. For those who need context: this is referencing the classic XKCD comic where someone hardcodes the number 4 as their "random" number because they rolled a dice once. The joke here is that a CA—literally an organization whose entire job depends on cryptographic security and proper randomness—might as well be using the same logic. Nothing screams "enterprise security" quite like deterministic randomness. I'm sure their SSL certificates are totally secure when the random number generator has the same entropy as a fortune cookie. But hey, at least it's guaranteed to be random, right? They rolled a dice! Once! In 2003! This is what happens when someone reads "cryptographically secure random number generator" and thinks "yeah, but have we tried just... picking a number?"

Sounds A Bit Simple

Sounds A Bit Simple
So you're telling me you just hardcoded return 4; as your random number generator? Absolute galaxy brain move right there. Why bother with entropy pools, cryptographic seeds, or any of that boring external module nonsense when you can just slap in a constant and call it a day? The top panel shows the reasonable developer using proper RNG libraries with actual entropy sources. The bottom panel? That's the developer who discovered that technically, any number you pick is random if nobody can predict which one you'll choose. Checkmate, computer scientists. Fun fact: There's actually an XKCD comic (#221) that immortalized this exact approach with "RFC 1149.5 specifies 4 as standard IEEE-vetted random number." The joke has become so legendary that people unironically reference it in code reviews. Because nothing says "I understand randomness" quite like a deterministic constant.

Little Timmy Tables

Little Timmy Tables
Little Timmy tried to be clever by literally injecting SQL into his name to transfer himself from the naughty list to the nice list. Classic Bobby Tables move, but Santa's not running a database—he's running Excel spreadsheets. Multiple interconnected ones. Because apparently the North Pole's IT department peaked in 1995. The joke is that SQL injection attacks only work on actual databases, not on Excel files where Santa probably has formulas like =IF(VLOOKUP(A2,NaughtyList!A:B,2,FALSE)="Naughty","Coal","Toys") spread across 47 different tabs with names like "NaughtyList_FINAL_v3_USE_THIS_ONE.xlsx" Security through obsolescence is undefeated. Sorry Timmy, should've tried a macro virus instead.