New job Memes

Ah, the beautiful delusion of Day 1. "I'll quickly get up and running..." they say, right before meeting the crimson wall of dependency hell. What they don't tell you in the interview is that your first two weeks will be spent wrestling with environment setup, missing packages, incompatible versions, and permission errors that make you question your career choices. The real coding challenge isn't algorithms—it's getting your development environment to stop screaming at you in angry red text. By the time you actually write your first line of production code, you'll have aged approximately 7 years.

The formal frog announces his survival with the dignity of someone who just escaped a firing squad. First code reviews are basically professional executions where your carefully crafted masterpiece gets dissected by senior devs who've forgotten what optimism feels like. You walk in thinking you're delivering the next Linux kernel and walk out realizing you've been indenting with a mixture of tabs AND spaces like some kind of monster. The miracle isn't just surviving—it's maintaining enough self-esteem to code again tomorrow.

HONEY, THE IMPOSTOR SYNDROME IS REAL! That's a black lab swimming with ducks who have NO IDEA they've been infiltrated by a completely different species! Just like when you've been copy-pasting ChatGPT code for a week straight and somehow convinced the entire engineering team you're a coding genius! The whole dev team is like "Great job on that algorithm!" while you're frantically Googling what a for-loop is. Swimming in a sea of competent developers while your brain is screaming "QUACK QUACK I'M TOTALLY A PROGRAMMER" is the most relatable thing ever. We're all just dogs in a duck pond pretending we know what we're doing!