Impossible standards Memes

Posts tagged with Impossible standards

Tech Companies Be Like

Tech Companies Be Like
The tech industry's job market in one perfect image. Nothing captures the absurdity of modern hiring like demanding someone be simultaneously fresh out of college yet somehow possessing half a decade of professional experience. It's like asking a newborn to recite their memoir. Next they'll want your GitHub contributions from the womb and internship experience from preschool. The cognitive dissonance is so strong you can practically hear the recruiter saying "entry-level position" while typing "must have architected multiple distributed systems at scale."

Now Get Out Before I Call Security

Now Get Out Before I Call Security
The tech industry's time paradox strikes again! Imagine helping create Kubernetes and still not having enough experience for a job requiring Kubernetes skills. The recruiter wants 12 years of experience for a technology that's only 10 years old – classic tech hiring logic. It's like asking for swimming experience before water was invented. Next they'll want 5 years of experience with tomorrow's framework.

The Missing Developer Category

The Missing Developer Category
When Amazon asks you to "Add a new member" but forgets the most important category: "Junior Developer - 10 years experience required." That awkward gap between 12 and 18 is where all the tech recruiters find their "entry-level" candidates with impossible qualifications. Somehow they expect you to be both a child prodigy and a seasoned veteran simultaneously. Next they'll rebrand to "Amazon Extended Family" and add a "Senior Developer - 3 months old with 30 years Rust experience" option.

The Impossible Job Requirements Paradox

The Impossible Job Requirements Paradox
Every dev job listing in existence: "Entry-level position. Requirements: Must have been coding since the womb." The tech industry's impossible math strikes again! The classic paradox where companies want you to be simultaneously young enough to work for peanuts but experienced enough to have built half the internet. Next they'll ask for your GitHub contributions from preschool. I've seen seniors with less experience requirements than some "junior" positions these days.