Game launchers Memes

Remember when you could just double-click a game and... play it? Yeah, those were simpler times. Now launching a single game requires navigating through more layers than a Russian nesting doll. First Steam has to update itself (obviously), then Ubisoft Connect needs to verify you're not a pirate, then Denuvo Anti-Cheat wants to inspect your soul, and FINALLY you get to the actual game. By then you've lost the will to play and just scroll Reddit instead. The matryoshka doll metaphor is painfully accurate here. Each launcher is just another unnecessary barrier between you and actually playing the game you paid for. It's like needing four different keys to unlock your own front door. Gaming in 2024: where the real boss battle is getting past the DRM.

PC gamers and the Epic Games Store have a relationship that can only be described as "transactional at best." You open it once a week to claim your free game like you're collecting coupons at a grocery store, then immediately close it and pretend it doesn't exist. The Epic launcher sits there in your taskbar, wondering if it'll ever experience the warmth of human interaction again. Spoiler alert: it won't. Not until next Thursday when they're giving away another indie game you'll add to your library of 47 unplayed titles. Steam stays open 24/7 like a loyal golden retriever, but Epic? That's the friend you only text when you need something. And honestly, Epic knows what they signed up for.

Remember when we dreamed of a unified game launcher? The top panel shows all the major platforms (Battle.net, Epic, Rockstar, EA, Ubisoft, Steam) marching along like they're going somewhere important. The bottom panel reveals the grim reality - all of them dead and buried in a graveyard... except Steam, who's still trucking along like the immortal cockroach it is. Eight years and 17 launcher installations later, my SSD is basically a digital cemetery where game launchers go to consume resources and force updates when I'm trying to play literally anything. Yet somehow Steam endures, probably because Gabe Newell made a deal with some eldritch horror in exchange for eternal market dominance.