Cross join Memes

Nothing quite like watching a new analyst's soul leave their body when they see a database at 7am on Monday morning. Then someone hands them a SQL query that's basically asking to see everyone's private data. That look of horror says it all - welcome to data analytics, kid, where ethics and sleep schedules go to die.

When a colleague announces they're leaving, there are two types of developers: those who mourn the loss of institutional knowledge, and those who've seen Billy's SQL queries. Poor Billy committed the cardinal database sin: using a cross join with a group-by clause. That's like using a flamethrower to light birthday candles – technically it works, but the collateral damage is... extensive. The remaining team members aren't celebrating Billy's departure – they're planning his execution before he can push that monstrosity to production. Because nothing says "farewell party" like debugging someone's queries that would bring a database server to its knees.