Ancient technology Memes

Posts tagged with Ancient technology

How The F*ck Did They Build Pyramids
Agile AI Devops Microsoft Programming
22 days ago 93.2K views 0 shares
How The F*ck Did They Build Pyramids
Ancient Egyptians somehow managed to build architectural marvels without the corporate tech stack we can't seem to function without. No endless Teams meetings where everyone says "can you hear me?" No 57-slide pitch decks explaining the "stone moving paradigm." No AI that promises to optimize workflow but actually just creates more meetings about the AI. Just people dragging massive stones with pure human effort and mathematical precision. The real pyramid scheme was getting stuff done without a Slack channel dedicated to discussing the office snack selection.

I Thought They Git Commit Before Going Home
Git Devops Programming
22 days ago 158.3K views 0 shares
I Thought They Git Commit Before Going Home
The ancient Egyptians built massive, geometrically precise pyramids that have lasted thousands of years, and here we are wondering how they managed without git commit -m "moved stone block #4,392 up ramp" . Imagine the merge conflicts when two teams tried to build the same corner! No pull requests, no branches, just pure chaos. And when something went wrong? No git reset --hard to save you - that stone block is staying exactly where you dropped it, buddy. The pharaoh probably had the ancient equivalent of "It works on my tomb" syndrome.

The Last COBOL Developer Pic X(30)
Programming
1 month ago 145.9K views 0 shares
The Last COBOL Developer Pic X(30)
Somewhere in Nebraska, a lone COBOL developer is literally holding up the digital world like Atlas himself. While tech bros brag about their microservices architecture, this unsung hero is silently preventing the financial apocalypse with code older than most developers' parents. Banks don't send thank you cards for averting economic collapse every Tuesday at 2 AM when the batch job mysteriously fails. The real infrastructure isn't in the cloud—it's in Nebraska, running on a language that uses "PIC X(30)" to define a string because it was cool in 1959.

The Stone Age Coding Evolution
Programming Testing
1 month ago 91.0K views 0 shares
The Stone Age Coding Evolution
The evolution of coding tools, as told by Vince McMahon's increasingly ecstatic reactions: Visual Studio Code? A mild nod of approval. Notepad++? Now we're talking - getting excited! Regular Notepad? *heavy breathing intensifies* Pen and paper? ABSOLUTE ECSTASY! Ancient stone tablet? *MIND COMPLETELY BLOWN* Nothing says "I understand modern software development" quite like forcing students to code on dead trees. Bonus points if you have to trace through a recursive function without being able to hit backspace.

Every Developer's Kryptonite
Programming
3 months ago 78.0K views 0 shares
Every Developer's Kryptonite
Just like vampires fear sunshine and Superman fears kryptonite, modern developers run screaming from COBOL code. That ancient green screen with its uppercase commands might as well be garlic to a vampire. The joke's on us though—those legacy COBOL systems still run 95% of ATM transactions and most airline booking systems. Nothing strikes fear in the heart of a 20-something React developer quite like being told "we need you to maintain this 60-year-old mainframe code." Career kryptonite indeed.