RIP the reason I have a job

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Nothing says "I'm a real programmer" like spending 80% of your time frantically Googling "how to exit vim" for the 47th time this week. While normal people worry about finding inappropriate texts, your partner just discovered your deepest, darkest shame: you still can't remember if it's :wq , :q! , or just smashing your keyboard until something happens. The true walk of shame isn't leaving someone's apartment—it's admitting you've been using Vim for 5 years and still need to look up basic commands. At least she now knows why you're always muttering "hjkl" in your sleep.

Content NOOO YOU SHOULD USE VIM OR EMAGS AND LEARN AIL THE KEY BINDINGS 34 34 US CODE IS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD US CODE IS (ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD 14 14 0.1 10 score 55 2 70 85 100 115 130 2 0.1 145

The biggest security threat? Publishing your entire IT department's names, faces, and roles on a bright yellow poster for the world to see! Nothing says "please target me for social engineering" like a comprehensive directory of exactly who manages your systems. That "Network Administator" typo is just the cherry on top of this security nightmare sundae. Somewhere, a pen tester is printing this out and planning their next "phishing expedition" while IT security professionals everywhere are experiencing physical pain looking at this image.

Content I'VE INVENTED A STRESS POWERED LIGHT BULB! IS IT PRACTICAL? JUST WATCH! EXCUSE ME, programmer WOULD YOU HOLD THIS, PLEASE? SURE! Social interaction

Content YOU USE VIM CAUSE YOU LIKE TO CODE IN THE TERMINAL TUSE VIM CAUSE I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO EXIT WEARE NOT THE SAME